Oh No!!! Board Burn

What on earth could possibly give me a worse burn than the sun? This is a very serious question because the sun has been beating me to a red painful pulp ever since I've been here. The worst burn I have ever had as of now happened due to my first, and probably last experience with boogy boarding.

On this most superb of Saturdays the Australearners had a plan to leave at 7 am, which is a feat for most in the group on any day and I'm guessing because most of them went out the night before until 5:30am didn't really help their spunk during preparation for departure. My roommate Edgar's response in the morning was not much more than a muffled grunt, he never even made it out of his street clothes. And so we were off! Jumping from bus to bus and entering a coach bus similar to the ones in the states. This bus ride was epic because at every significant town on the way there we would stop, have a man with a box full of food and drinks yell at us through the window, allow people to enter and exit the bus and be off. Since it is Fiji time these stops were much less than efficient adding some time to the already three hour trip. We arrived in Sigatoka looking at a sea of eager faces all whom desire to sell us their fresh produce at the market, because it is better than the mango's on the other adjacent table owned by her neighdor probably picking from the same plants (I say plants because I guess I don't know what a mango grows on, and since I was so surprised that a pineapple isn't a tree I can't jump to conclusions). I bought a lovely baked good called a jelly roll from a typical looking restaurant with all of its food in heater pans on the other side of glass. I bought this because the presentation reminded me of a swiss cake roll by little Debby except it was pink. Come to learn Little Debby cannot be beaten, as I should know by now the baking is much less sweet and very dry in comparison to the succulent baked goods of home, and the cream filling is only there for show being nothing more than thick air to take up space and look good.

We hopped the town bus which drove us out into the middle of nowhere at a shack which was to be our home for the night. Very nice place for $12 a night. They rented us out surfboards and boogey boards and we set out for the ocean over the only sand dunes of Fiji. The dunes were pretty impressive being much taller than I imagined, but the sand was also much hotter than I imagined. Rumor has it that you can boogey board down these. Maybe my form wasn't right, but I decided to use a good old fashion head first approach I have used with sleds many times. I dove onto the ground at a speed I figured necessary to give me the momentum to slide down, and when I landed the board stuck and I face planted flipping directly over onto my back covering me with scalding hot sand. The first epic failure of the day.

From afar the waves looked wonderfully serene and majestic as they crashed into the shore, but once we got down there I knew I was in for a good time. These were no happy three foot waves that are synchronized cresting at the same time and splashing onto shore, but instead they were 10 ft (probably an exaggeration) waves of death crashing into shore from every which angle mutilating everything in there path. So I paddled out on a boogey board. I got 20 feet from shore busting through all sorts of madness and was Perfect Stormed, as in flipped head over heals and I drifted to shore like a piece of driftwood. After a number of tries and all the energy I had I made it out a distance that was possibly capable of producing a wave which had not already become a uncontrollable beast. I tried to jump a number of them only to float right over them. And then it came. This was no ordinary beast of the ocean, but instead as it crept closer I knew there was trouble. It actually curled into one of the tubular ones you see on tv that the surfers look really awesome riding it. That imaged crossed my mind until it hit my and I clung to my board for dear life I swear I was laundry machining for 30 seconds. In my inexperience I saw that Aaron and Eli with the surfboards attached the sting to their ankle, so I followed suit trying not to look dumb and the entire time it seemed too short to get to my ankle. Anyways your supposed to attach it to your wrist and because I had such a short string when my arms extended when holding on for dear life it became unattached from my ankle. Even in such a dire situation I was able to keep my head clear and I knew that it was hang on or not have anymore fun. When I resurfaced my death grip never loosened until I made it to shore, punishing wave after punishing wave. On shore I was able to assess the damage and all I discovered was that my chest burned very badly. Another amateur mistake no doubt. As I wiggled and flailed my way into near death the boogey board decided to tear slowly away at my skin leaving me with a beautiful rash of sorts all over my upper stomach. The worst wasn't even my stomach, I could bear that pain, but there were two little appendages of the male body so often forgotten because I don't think they serve a purpose except pain when uncared for. My NIPPLES!!! They were swollen red and throbbing with pain, so there was a shirt on the rest of the day to stop more possible damage from occurring.

Seeking a better venue for beginners we traveled down the beach to the river mouth. I must say I was proud of the idea but I used my hammock, since there were no trees for shade or hanging, as a tent by staking the two corners down and holding one longways side up with a stick and let the wind do the rest. Pretty impressive if I do say so myself. But more important matters were afoot, because I was yet to conquer a wave. This time my weapon of choice was the board. Thanks to the river current it was easy to travel the 100 unnecessary meters out from shore so we attacked from the flank. All that ran through my head was that I read in my "Lonely Planet: Fiji" is that in 2006 a man was bit in the hand by a shark, so I imagined being propelled from the water by a great white since if I had to go it better be a memorable death for everyone who saw it. We made it to the actual waves and it was the same old story I would float over a wave or else be pummeled by its fury. And then a miracle occurred. As a splashed in an attempt to bring up my speed on my board the wave all of a sudden grabbed me and propelled me to mind blowing speeds. Not knowing what was happening I screamed in fear as I flew atop of this wave never moving from my stomach. Since I didn't move the wave became a white cap and the board wiggled all around. This heavenly moment lasted for probably 10 seconds and then I so ceremoniously pressed too hard on my left hand and went into the normal routine of clinging to the board for dear life. I resurfaced with a new sense of pride and accomplishment because absolutely no one had any idea of what happened, but in my own mind I was reborn a new man. This probably occurred one more time, but I got scared after awhile. Probably because Edgar decided to try in his hung over state and ended up losing his board completely and was swimming around in the waves for like five minutes. Being the responsible group we were Eli jumped in with a board to go help as I swashed around unable to leave the shore. When Eli made it out to him Edgar was flailing wildly and he was given this little bit of advice from Eli "You can stand up it isn't very deep." Giving such a horrifying incident a light hearted ending. Looking back on the whole ordeal I suppose most of us probably were lucky nothing happened, especially me being the Olympic trained swimmer I am things could have gone a lot worse. But what is the fun of thinking things through? There would be so much less spontaneity we would simple sit in our homes not going anywhere because there is a chance of someone dying. Similar to me and my sunburn. Maybe I should stay out of the sun for awhile... ha no way and now I am again a finely boiled lobster only looking forward to peeling my outer shell revealing a fresh new canvas for the sun to violently cover with its signature color, red.

The next day, Sunday, only brought more adventures. Luckily I ate everyone's meal at a restaurant we went to the night before, because it was too large for everyone else, so I kicked into garbage disposal mode and ate my meal 4 other plates full of leftovers, nearly a full roti, and a cupcake to wash it down. Needless to say I wasn't very hungry the next morning. We then journeyed to the finest beach in all of the mainland Viti Levu called Natadola beach. Much more picturesque than the day before the beach was purely white sand all alone an inner ring of the bay. The waves were synced and crashed onto shore with a perfect crash. Today brought new adventures, which surprised me how well it worked and how awesome it was. Body boarding cheapest way to enjoy yourself with a wave is easy and exciting. The goal is to pretty much surf but without a board. I would get in up to where I could barely touch with my feet, and then when one would come through that was peaking right before it got to me I would swim like there's no tomorrow and I would be hoisted up and carried. During this time I would usually scream with excitement and kick and flail, because it seemed right at the time. Of course all good things come to an end and the normal fashion for me involved falling face first into my carrier wave and tossed around until I drifted onto shore like a cardboard box. One of the neatest feelings is being jostled around by a wave because if you relax it tosses and turns you and bends your body in all sorts of ways. I feel sort of like jello because how it actually sends a wave down my body as it passes through. If no one has ever experienced it I highly recommend along with many hours of body boarding. Unfortunately living in paradise has its downfalls. Though I applied spf 50 there seemed to be a number of spots that were not quite as covered as I needed so I continued the baking process and now I truly am welldunn. If there is one positive thing my Neanderthal forehead has created the goggle effect that I know Caitlin has always enjoyed on my face.

Now to travel back in time to where the burns began. On Friday there was a very large Rugby tournament beginning at the TFL national stadium which I went to enjoy. Seeing all of the destruction of course perked me right up, but unfortunately I found I was the only one and all of the other people didn't seem to happy to be there. One it was devastatingly hot and sunny that day of course all of the avid game watchers found shelter, but there we were in our pale skin glory enjoying the game smack dab in the middle of a sun facing hill. The games were intended to pick up, but of course we had better places to be like the student bar for happy hour :(. Stupidly I did not return probably when the matches would have been exciting, but I will enjoy a solid match another day.

This weekend breathed new life into me. Preparing me for another long week of school. Hopefully I will finally make it to all of my classes for the first week and so will my professors, who decided not to show up during my one hour library guided research time for Human Rights. Oh well, of course its Fiji time!